{Adoption Awareness Month} PRAY

Last week, I wrote a post about how November is National Adoption Awareness Month. But more than that, I want to talk about not just adoption, but orphan care as well and how you can be involved and make a difference in the life of a child. We are not all called to adoption, but we are called to do something. The Lord talks a lot about orphans in the Bible and how we are to take care of them. Probably the most quoted verse when talking about orphans is James 1:27:

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this:

to look after orphans and widows in their distress

and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."

God has a special place in His heart for the orphans. He doesn't just ask us to care for the orphans if we feel like it, no, He commands us to. 

This month, in honor of National Adoption Month, I am going to focus on several ways that you can make a difference in the life of the child and resources to help you get started. 

The first one is PRAY. I know, it should be a no brainer right? And the "Christian thing" to do. That may be the case, but friends, prayer is so very important. It is the most important thing we can do when talking about orphan care. I have seen the Lord move mountains when prayer was involved. In China, I saw miracle after miracle in the lives of the children I cared for. Children who should not be alive today, are not only alive, but thriving. If you do nothing else, then pray, pray, pray.

Here are some things to pray for if you need some direction:

** Pray for the children in foster families & homes, government & privately run orphanages all over the world.

** Pray for the nannies and caretakers.

** Pray for the birth families. We don't know their story or why they had to give their children up, but it was probably the most difficult thing they ever had to do. We often look at the birth parent as the "bad guy" when really, they may have given their child up out of love, to give them a chance at life.

** Pray for the funding for these foster home and orphanages. That they may provide the care these children need.

** Pray for FOREVER FAMILIES to adopt these children!

** Pray that there will be another option and that these families DO NOT have to give up their child for adoption! Pray for a way for them to stay with their birth families.

These are just a few ideas to help you get started!

Praying for Favor

Finally, my Mom and sister's visa applications have been mailed and arrived at the visa office! My Mom's passport took weeks to come and now that it's here, it's off again and waiting for the visa to be issued. There should not be any issues or holdups, but won't you please join me in praying for favor and that their visas are granted quickly? We received an email today stating that they need one more piece of documentation since Kiah was born in China. It has been located and will be scanned and emailed soon. We should be all set now but of course it's a little nerve-wracking since they leave July 2nd for China which is in less than a month!

Thank you, friends! I know the power of prayer and what God can and will do.

Abundantly More

I like to control things. I like to play it safe, know what is going to happen, and what is going on. When there is a problem, I like to have it fixed right then. When things don't go my way (or how I think they should), I become very anxious. God has been revealing this more and more in my life and teaching me how to rely on Him through these periods of anxiety. He reminds me that I do not NEED to know what is going to happen, even if I think I do. Our true faith is tested when a curve ball is thrown our way. How will we react? Will we trust Him through it? What continues to amaze me is that even when I become upset, stressed, anxious, and try to figure it out on my own, He is STILL faithful and blesses me abundantly.

Even when I am not faithful, He is.

Last Saturday, I received an email from Travelocity letting me know that my flight time had been changed and I did not have sufficient time to make my connecting flights. My brother, Thad, also received this same email since he is taking the same flight path home after he visits me in January.How did I react? At first, I had a really good attitude about it. I would call Travelocity, get this all straightened out and we would be good to go. Of course when I called, found out they had to call the airline and of course, the airline office was closed since it is located in California. *Sigh* Since it was Saturday and they weren't open until Monday, I had to wait until late Monday night or early Tuesday morning to try again. Okay, fine. Decided to "get it over with" and stayed up Monday night and tried calling at Midnight (9 a.m. on the west coast). I was put on a hold for a very long time and then got disconnected (got to love China internet). Tried calling back... same thing. Put on hold, then while they were "checking with the airline," I got cut off. At this point it had been over an hour, it was almost 1:30 a.m. and I was frustrated and exhausted. Yes, time to call it a night. Wednesday morning, I got up early and tried again. Finally got a very nice lady who helped me out. Turns out, I'll need to fly out the afternoon before, spend the night in Beijing (that the airline will cover) and then catch my original flight to NYC then on to Buffalo the following day. The amazing thing about this all? I am actually saving money. I had originally planned on staying in a hotel in Guangzhou the night before since my flight was at 8:30 a.m. Now, I don't fly out until 1:30 p.m. and can just take the airport bus that morning AND the airline is paying for my hotel. Yes, He is faithful, even when I am not. When I am stressed and upset, He comes through. And comes through in a big way.

I continue to be blown away at His goodness, at His grace. Is it the most ideal situation for my brother? Not necessarily. It'll definitely be a learning experience for him when he is flying back by himself but I know that God will be with him. He alone is faithful. He alone is good.

Side-note: Won't you please be lifting my brother up? He has been on my heart a lot lately. I would appreciate your prayers for him!

Anticipation

This little sweetie will be admitted today for surgery. Won't you keep her in your prayers?

Miracle in Our Midst?

When I watch this little Treasure sleeping, I can’t help it but stand amazed at the hand of God. Remember just 5 months ago when I sent out an emergency prayer request asking you all to pray for a miracle? The doctors were giving her no hope. Children with her condition never left the hospital alive. "You might as well give upon her," they said. But of course, we know that there is always hope. No matter how slim it looks, in Christ there is a hope. And He indeed worked a miracle. I still stand amazed. Do you know what I think? God was planning on healing her all along but He was waiting for His people to stand up and cover this little one in prayer. To trust Him in a miracle and then to watch His hand at work.

We are in need of another miracle. Peanut is not doing well. He was transferred to a better hospital last night and his condition is quite serious. As we sit and listen to the doctor’s, it’s easy to become discouraged. He is so sick…. What hope is there for him? But as we have already stated, there is always hope. Won’t you please pray for another miracle? Pray that the peace of Christ will fill his heart as well.

Do we have another miracle in our midst? We very well may.

Not Forgotten

You may recall that I wrote a post a few weeks back titled Broken. Remember how I was planning on taking the afternoon off and "celebrating" the 4th of July? Instead I went to meet this new little Peanut at the hospital. This little one who was abandoned that very morning. This sweetie was released from the hospital the other day and is now safe and sound and home with us. We couldn't be more thrilled to love him back to health.

Although yes, he is home with us, he is not "out of the woods." This little one is tiny, small, and weak. I've never seen such a small two-month old baby. Won't you continue to lift Peanut up? Pray that God would give him strength and that he would gain weight.

He was left, abandoned, but he was NOT forgotten. God Almighty holds this little treasure in His loving arms. He wept silent tears when this little boy was left, when for whatever the circumstances were, his birth family was unable to keep him. The God who made him, knows him, and loves him has not forgotten this precious child. He is made in the image of God. And God is going to turn this heartbreaking story into a story that shares His love, grace, and redemption.

"For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made."

Psalm 139:13-14

Prayer Request

The last few days have been a bit rough. I really don't live too rough of a life over here. Thankfully I have air conditioning and even have a pool down the road. Tuesday night I went for a quick night swim with a friend. It was absolutely wonderful! However, Wednesday my ear was plugged up. Not really sure when it began, but all I know is that it felt like my right ear was underwater still. Now many of you may not know, but I swam competitively for 15 years. From when I was 7 and through college. Therefore, I should know how to get water out of ear, right? Yeah, that's what I thought too. I was lucky enough to rarely get ear infections which is huge when I sometimes spent 4 hours/day in the pool. After trying my "usual" antics to get the water out, it just wasn't coming out. It was just annoying but not the end of the world. Figured it would drain in the night and purposefully slept on that side.

Thursday morning came.... still plugged. Now I was starting to get a little nervous. After all, this wasn't normal right? It didn't hurt, no headache or dizziness, just plain annoying. Decided if by Friday there was no change, then I would see if our Medical Coordinator could bring me to a doctor.

Today is Friday. Same thing. Not worse but not better. After trying to ear drops ourselves, we made a trip to the hospital (there aren't doctor's offices in China so you have to go straight to the hospital for the simplest things). Doctor isn't quite sure if it's an infection or if there is just water trapped in there. He gave me several medicines to try as well as a nasal drop (they think it might be more sinus related than just ear) and if after 3 days nothing is changing, I also have some ear drops to try. If that doesn't work, we'll go back to the hospital for them to try to clean it out really well (apparently my ear is dirty too.... who knew?).

Will you all be praying for me please? It is a bit unnerving when you have a simple thing wrong in a foreign country and even when you go to see a doctor, you need everything translated. Please pray that the antibiotics will help and that my ear will "pop" on it's own. It is so hard to concentrate on work when I can't hear very well. I keep praying for God to work a miracle and preferably soon. I really am feeling that this is a way that Satan is trying to distract me and it's working. He doesn't want me loving these precious orphans and this is trying to get me off focused. And to be honest? It is working. Pray for strength, perseverance, and healing.

Sorrow

"Cause me to understand the way of Your precepts, that I may meditate on Your wonderful deeds."

Psalm 119:27

 There are so many things in this life that we will never understand.

We know that "ALL things work together for good for those who love God." (Romans 8:28)

But we may not know what those things are this side of heaven.

We live in a lost and fallen world.

A world full of sin, heartache, pain, and sickness.

But a verse the Lord laid on my heart the other morning was this:

 "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." (Hebrews 13:7-9)

 This week, the world lost an amazing woman.

She was a mother, wife, sister, daughter, friend, and most importantly, daughter of the Heavenly King.

She loved God with her whole heart and lived out her faith to those around her.

You could just see the love of Christ shining through her life and in her smile.

My dear neighbor back home lost the battle to cancer. 

But when I think about it, she didn't lose at all.

She actually WON.

She is in Heaven.

She is probably chatting with Jesus right now.

She is with her Heavenly Father and in no more pain.

How cool is that to think about?

Yet we are the ones who lost.

Because we lost her here on earth and we are still here.

 I KNOW that I am going to see her again, but the loss is still great.

The pain still raw.

And the tears still fall.

She wasn't just a neighbor to me, but part of our family.

Before I flew back to China, my family had the amazing privilege to spend some time in worship with her family.

We have had so many memories over the years together.

Playing, dinners, camping, concerts, etc.

But WORSHIP will be my last memory. 

A memory of praising Jesus together.

And thanking Him for what he has done, is doing, and will do.

Isn't that what it's all about?

Even in the midst of the knowledge that she is with Jesus, it still hurts.

And that is okay too because there is a "time to weep and a time to mourn." (Ecclesiastes 3:3-5)

"Weeping may last for a night, but joy comes in the morning."

Psalm 30:5

Goodbye's Are Never Easy

Goodbye's are never easy nor are they ever fun.

I always dread when the time for goodbye's draw near. 

Therefore, I try not to think about them until I absolutely have too.

And now is that time.

I will be departing my house at 5:30 a.m. tomorrow to head to the airport with my Mom and Dad for my departure.

It's very bittersweet.

I can't wait to love on my kiddos again, but it's so hard saying goodbye to my family.

Much harder this time than in the past.

Will you pray for me?

Pray as I begin the round of "goodbye's" tonight and again tomorrow morning.

And as I adjust to life once again in China.

This is so hard....

He Can Move the Mountains

So often it is hard to understand what God is doing and how He is working.

But part of faith is trusting that He is, even when we don't see it.

Quite often God is working behind the scenes and we don't even see how until later.

 I know I have mentioned this before, but it's easy to trust God with my life, but when I'm asked to trust Him with the love of someone else?

That is so much harder.

Especially when it is someone who I love so very, very much and would do anything for.

"Letting go and letting God" has got to be one of the hardest things to do.

And daily falling on my knees before the Creator of the universe and say "I trust You with his life."

 Saturday night I went to bed with a heavy heart. 

I knew that I needed to be praying hard for this individual.

That God is absolutely not done with him but also that the devil is not going to give up so easily.

Yesterday morning, we sang "Mighty to Save" in Church.

Now this is a song I have sung for years and love.

But yesterday morning, it meant to much more and hit me that much harder.

"Savior, He can move the mountains, my God is mighty to save, mighty to save."

Those are the words that rocked me to my core.

And caused the tears to begin flowing.

Because you know what?

God CAN move the mountains.

But maybe His mountains are not the mountains I am picturing. 

Maybe His plan is so much better and greater than I can ever think or imagine.

Maybe, just maybe, He isn't going to move in the way I think He should.

But in a way even better.

 We will learn some very life affecting information today.

But even if the news is bad and not what we were hoping or praying for,

I know God is STILL in control.

And He still WILL move mountains.

Even if it's not the mountains we are expecting.

Whatever the outcome, He will lead and guide.

In Him I put my trust and in Him I will continue to praise over what He has, is, and WILL do.

No Words

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they WILL be comforted."

Matthew 5:4

Due to the tragic news I received this morning regarding the sudden death of a dear friend's Dad, I am reminded how very precious life is. 

We can not take even one day for granted.

Praying for comfort and peace for  the whole family.

May God enfold them in His everlasting arms as they mourn the loss of their husband, father, soon-to-be grandfather, and friend. 

No words to describe the pain they must be going through.

Patience & Trust

I feel as though I have not had any deep blog posts since I've been in the states.

Now when I read blogs, I like to read both.

I like to read the deep, meaningful posts that really make me think.

But I also like to read more lighthearted posts about life and see pictures.

Which is what I try to do with my blog.

A mix of both.

I have just been a poor blogger since arriving home over a month ago.

I hope that you will all forgive me.

Being home has been so refreshing.

It has been a great time of  rest and renewal.

I feel like most of the posts I have written have been pretty basic.

No real emotions or feelings written in them. Just pictures and how life is going.

And those are true.

But, there have also been some struggles and confusion since being home. 

As I have mentioned before, one of the main reasons for me returning was to apply for a new visa.

This is the third time I have applied for a Chinese Visa.

First one was in 2009 before I traveled in early 2010.

The second time was February 2012 before traveling in March.

So you would think I knew how to do this by now right?

Well I did... until China changed some of their requirements last summer.

Therefore, two weeks ago I spent most of the week sending emails back and forth to China trying to obtain the correct documents needed for my visa. 

Ok, so that was finally all figured out and sent off to New York City where my visa office is located.

So now it was just a matter of waiting for my visa to come back right?

Wrong.

Got an email two days later stating that my application had indeed arrived, but three different things needed changing or more information.

Again, more emails were exchanged between me and contacts in China.

FINALLY April 26th, got an email that the visa company felt that everything looked good and that my application would be submitted to the Chinese consulate.

So now I wait.

Feel confident I will get a visa, but now just a question of "for how long?"

I'll just have to wait and see.

Also while I was home, I ordered a new computer.

Mine is 3 1/2 years old and while it's still doing well for the most part, I use it a LOT.

Not only for my own personal use but also for my work at the foster home.

Therefore, I didn't want to take my chances and wait for it to quite working altogether and decided to replace it.

I ordered it and less than a week later, it arrived.

All was well until I realized that only one speaker was working.

They sent someone out to replace it, but it still didn't work.

Now they are going to replace the motherboard.

Plus other random things that have decided to go wrong with it.

Once again, a matter of waiting and trying not to get upset and frustrated.

At this point I am planning on staying in China another year.

I made a commitment and have spent much time in prayer and seeking guidance from my parents and close friends.

I really do not feel called to China long term but for now, that is where God wants me.

As I was researching adoption information for a friend of mine who I was meeting with this past weekend, I came across the perfect job for me.

I mean really.... a job that I picture myself doing once I move back.

But of course, it's at least one year too early.

I even spent time praying about applying for it, just to see what would happen.

But then I thought about my kids.

And the work I'm doing in China.

And I can't leave now. I made a commitment.

An agreement to go back for another year.

I am not one who backs out on my word.

Therefore, I came to the conclusion that the time is not right.

But I have had moments of doubt.

"This job is perfect... what if nothing comes up next summer when I'm really looking?"

God spoke softly to my heart, reminding me that His plan and His timing is perfect.

He has made it clear that He wants me in China another year.

He is still using me there.

I have also come to realize that He will have an even more perfect job for me when the time is right.

But now is not the time.

I was reminded me that He HEALED Treasure.

Won't He be able to solve a simple problem such as getting me the right visa?

Yes, I think so.

And I still have over 3 weeks until I head back.

3 weeks to get my computer fixed and taken care of.

Wont't He take care of that too?

Yes, I know He will.

An a job for the future?

He already knows what job I will have and where I will be.

He is preparing it for me now.

So, I just need to sit back, drink my Starbucks coffee, and enjoy the ride.

He knows and He cares.

He cares about the little things like my computer, visa, and future job.

His plans are good.

But He is calling me to trust Him and wait on His timing and His plan.

Not mine.

Which is oh so hard sometimes!

Okay, more than sometimes.

So these last few weeks have been full of trials. 

But I am blessed to have a God that sees the outcome of each one.

And will allow everything to fall into place.

Trusting in the Midst of Uncertainty

There goes my plan to blog more while home.

I appear to have abandoned this blog lately. 

Often times while in China people ask me who I have so much time to blog.

Well, when your family and most of your friends are 7,000 miles away, it's pretty easy to find time to blog and journal!

Both of those have been put on the back burner since being in the states.

My time at home has been so very, very good. 

I went on vacation with my family to South Carolina, and this past week has been spent putting support letters together as well as seeing several good friends.

This week's plan was to get my visa application done and submitted. 

Past years the visa has been pretty simple. Fill out the application, get a passport picture taken, then send it all plus my passport and money to the Visa company and I get my passport back within 10 days with my Visa stamp in it.

It's been over a year since I've applied for a Chinese Visa (mine was good for about 15 months) and China has changed a few of their requirements.

Let's just say that I have all of a sudden found myself in the midst of uncertainty. 

I'm pretty sure China will issue me a visa but for how long? 

Now that is the question. 

Last night I took my eye off of my Father. 

I started looking at my circumstances and fretting about the "what if's."

"What if my visa doesn't come before I'm supposed to leave on May 22nd?!"

"What if China doesn't issue another 12 month visa?"

"What if they don't issue me a visa at all?"

"What if I have to change my return ticket because I don't have my Visa yet?"

So many questions and worries that began to overwhelm my heart.

After a night spent sending emails and just waiting to hear back from my contacts in China, I felt God speak quietly to my heart:

"What about me? Why are you not taking this situation to me? I healed Treasure, do you not trust me enough that I can provide something as easy as a Visa?"

Hmmm.... good question, God. 

Why did I start feeling anxious automatically to the point of being in tears?

Why DIDN'T I take this to Him from the very beginning?

Well because I am on this journey of faith and trust just like the rest of you.

I often get the impression from people that because I moved to the other side of the world for an indefinite amount of time, that I somehow "have it all together."

No, that is not the case, friends.

I struggle with faith and trust just like the rest of you. 

And just like the rest of you, God has to remind me over and over again that He IS in control.

I feel very confident that God has called me to China for another year.

And even though there may be a few more hoops to jump through, He will see me through.

Will you pray with me?

Pray that I will get all of the correct documents and paperwork I need for my Visa to be approved?

And that it will all happen BEFORE May 22nd when I am scheduled to fly back.

A dear friend reminded me of a verse from Ephesians this morning and has been my "theme verse" on this journey the Lord has me on:

"Now to Him who is ABLE to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us."

Ephesians 3:20

See You Later, China!

From what I have been told over and over again today, I might as well pack away the skirts and flip flops as I will not be needing those in New York anytime soon.

But I have decided that seeing my family and friends is worth putting up with the cold and snow for a while.

And I really can't complain as I haven't seen snow in over a year.

I have arrives safely in Guangzhou and am ready to fly out in the morning.

As much as I'm looking forward to going home, I am not looking forward to my 24+ hour trip coming up.

But it will be worth it. 

Saying goodbye was bittersweet today. 

I have such mixed feelings. 

I love China yet dislike it at times.

Love the US, but my babies are here. 

Want to be here, but want to be there.

Please be praying for safe travels. 

I realize this post is kind of all over the place which is a sign that I need to go to bed.

My next post will be from the good old US of A!

Little Treasure

Two months. 

On February 26th it will be two months since Treasure was admitted into the hospital with pneumonia. 

And now she has developed a bacterial infection that has gotten into her blood stream. 

We have been waiting and waiting.
She is stable. 

Which means she is not getting worse.

But she is not getting better either. 

This little one needs a miracle. 

And she needs it soon. 

This sweet girl needs to come home.
Where she is loved and held and cherished.
Not lying in a hospital bed for months and months.

Last week, I spent an afternoon fasting and praying for this little Treasure. And a verse I "happened" to come across (we all know it was not an accident right?) was found in John 11:4 which says:

"This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God's glory so that God's son may be glorified through it." 

And I am going to stand on that promise. That Promise that God is not done with this little girl. He is going to work a miracle.
And it's going to be huge.

Will you consider joining me in a day of prayer and fasting for this little one on Friday, February 22nd? 

Now for those of you who don't know much about fasting it doesn't HAVE to be fasting food. Fast Facebook or TV. And then when you would be spending time doing those activities, pray for Treasure instead. Lift her up to the One who knows her and formed her. And has a plan for her life.

Let's pray for a miracle over this little sweetie. May God's name be glorified. 

It's Hard

This is a post I've been thinking about the last couple of days and debated whether to write about it or not. I guess we all sometimes just want to be positive and write about happy things and when things are going well. But when I have moments of weakness, I feel that those are important to share as well. 

It's important to be real and honest.

To not only write about the good, but to write about the hard too.

 For as long as I can absolutely remember, I have wanted to be a Mom. I would play dress up and with dolls until I was much older than I probably should have been! When I grew up, all I ever wanted to be was a Mom. And that was my answer until I was 18 years old to anyone who asked, 

"Anneli, what do you want to be when you grow up?"

"A Mom."

That's all I ever wanted. 

I couldn't have cared less about a "career" or making lots of money or being a hard working business woman. 

Not that any of those are bad things necessarily, they were just not for me.

Never what I wanted.

I never really dated through high school or college because honestly I'm pretty picky about who I'll date. : ) 

I wasn't just going to date any guy! 

And I guess deep down I thought that I would meet someone soon after college, get married, and have children.

Well.... I will be celebrating my 27th birthday next month and I'm still waiting. 

Yes, I've dated but it never worked out. 

Haven't found the one.

I'm at the age where so many of my friends are getting married or have been married for several years now.

Now I'm to the stage where they are having BABIES and ADOPTING! 

Something I still want. 

Have always wanted. 

But yet, "what about me, God?"

"Have you forgotten me? 

Forgotten my hopes and dreams and desires?

Yes, I'm doing a wonderful thing. I love what I am doing, loving these children in China.

But ultimately I want to adopt them.

I want to make them mine."

As I follow adoption blog after adoption blog, I sometimes think maybe I shouldn't, because it makes me too sad sometimes.

I get too sad dreaming about the day that I will be the one getting married.

I will be the one announcing I'm pregnant or starting the adoption process.

 As I received an email from another friend the other day sharing me her exciting news that she is pregnant, I couldn't help but cry.

I'm happy for her, I really am.

But I just broke down.

It's not necessarily the fact that I'm 27 and not even seeing anyone.

Or married.

It's the fact that my friends are having kids.

And by the time it is my turn, who will I raise my kids with? 

All my friends kids will be grown.

All that to say, it's hard sometimes.

It's hard following Jesus and it's hard waiting on His timing.
And it's hard being almost 27 years old and in a place where it is nearly impossible to meet "someone." Goodness, I'm still trying to meet new friends!

But I know His timing is best.

I guess sometimes I just really don't "get it."

I don't understand what He is doing.

But I guess that's not mine to know. 

I don't have to know what He's doing.

I just have to trust Him that He knows what He's doing.

I know my husband is out there somewhere.

Where? Wish I knew.

When? Wish I knew.

How? Wish I knew.

But I don't. So Lord, give me the strength to find my joy and purpose in You. And trust you in my moments of weakness and loneliness.

After I wrote this, realized it'll post on Valentine's Day. How appropriate! : )

Trust

Trusting God is hard.

But what is even harder than trusting God?

It's trusting God with someone else's life.

Yes, I may slip and not trust God from time to time with my own life but I have more trust in Him than I do in myself.

But it is really hard to trust Him with someone else.

With someone who I love so very much but don't know what else to do to help him.

Except continue to fall on my knees and trust Him. 

Because He knows all things.

Sees all things.

And He knows my brother's heart.

 He knows what He is doing.

And He will work in HIS time. 

Not mine.

My job is to continue trusting Him.

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me." (John 14:1)