New Friends

Whenever a new child arrives, they are often sad, shy, and scared. For little Pearl, that is exactly how it was. However, just five days after her arrival we had our Chinese New Year party at the foster home. I was a little nervous that Pearl would get overwhelmed with all the kids in one apartment along with all the nannies and us. Instead, just the opposite happened.

She warmed right up to Beautiful and they became quick friends, sharing and playing so nicely with each other.

Okay, so maybe it wasn't ALL nice but for the most part they got along.

Each day Pearl comes more and more out of her shell. It has been so amazing to watch this little one blossom under love! I can't even imagine how far she will come as the weeks and months go on.

New friends always helps.

Breakthrough

It has been six days since precious Pearl arrived. In those six days, I have seen her fight back tears and try to hide the pain that has probably been such a part of her life. She had probably never seen a non-Chinese person until this past week and most certainly had never heard English. I made her cry which just about broke my heart. She was scared.

"What is this new place with funny looking people who speak a strange language?"

I can't even imagine what has gone through her 2 year old mind. Trying to wrap her mind around all that has taken place in the last 6 days.



Since I made her cry, I have kept my distance. I haven't tried to get to close or pick her up. However, I have smiled at her and tried to interact. Yesterday, we made strides. She thought it was hilarious when I would knock her little bear over. She has the most precious smile.

Yesterday was progress but today, my friends, we had a breakthrough. After getting her to smile for most of the afternoon, I finally took a chance and reached out my arms and asked her in Chinese if I could hold her. She immediately reached her little arms out towards me to which I scooped her up and sat her on my lap.

That little girl latched on immediately. Her arms went around my neck, she laid her head on my shoulder, and held on for dear life. I kept the tears at bay because I did not want to frighten her (again) but they were threatening to spill down my cheeks. I kissed her sweet head and slowly rubbed her beautiful black hair.

This precious child who has lost so much is taking a chance and allowing herself to trust. She sat on my lap for about half an hour, until it was time for her to eat. She went back and forth between hugging me, gazing into my eyes to make sure I was really there, and then her little girl arms would go around me again. 

This is what it is all about. This is why I do what I do. For moments like these. To give hope to the fatherless and show them love. 

Redefining Lucky

Sad, withdrawn, eyes full of sorrow. This is how I would describe our newest little one. On Tuesday night, our 13th child arrived. She is just shy of two years old and has been through so much in her short life. Abandonment, grief, pain, and sorrow. She has lived in the orphanage for the last seven months and now she is transitioning to yet another new home. She has no idea that this is a very good change.

She is scared to trust, to smile, and to come to like her new home, because after all, it may be taken away from her. Just like everything else in her life. 

Last week I wrote this post stating that I am the "lucky one." Some may even consider Pearl lucky because she has come to our foster home. The last few days I have been thinking about that post as well as a conversation I had with my Mom and thinking, what does "lucky" really mean for these children? When someone says they are "lucky," what does that mean?

These kids were left, abandoned. They have have lived in good situations or terrible situations in China before they are adopted. They have gone through more pain and sorrow than many of us will ever go through in a lifetime. They have loved and lost. They have no idea of where they came from. And questions that will never be answered.

Did she get her smile from their Mom? 

Eyes from her Father? 

A shy personality like her sister? 

These are answers precious Pearl will never know the answer too. Same as my sister. No matter how incredible her story is and how God can take something as awful and painful as abandonment and turn it into something beautiful through adoption, there will still be a part of her heart missing. A piece that she will never know the answers too.

Don't get me wrong, adoption is amazing. It is something I am passionate about and plan to do all I can to bring hope to orphans and unite forever families. I am so thankful for the way the Lord brought my family together from different sides of the world. But don't think for a minute that it is this "happily ever after" story. For these children, no matter how loved and wanted they are, there is something that we can't give them.

Answers to their past. 



I don't know about you, but if these children are considered "lucky," then this makes me totally rethink the term lucky and what it means.

We live in a lost and fallen world where there is pain and suffering. Praise God that there is also redemption, hope, and joy.

As I think about my own sister's story, my heart aches for her birth mother. A mother who must have loved her daughter so much to let her go. My heart also aches for the answers that she will never have answered. Questions that she has already started to ask.

Blessing? Indeed, but lucky? I think not.