Place of Healing

Quiet. It is quiet and peaceful this Monday morning. It's overcast and not unbearably hot like it has been lately. There is nothing quite like the peacefulness of morning. When most of the world isn't awake yet, and it's just me and God.

I have spent many hours on this balcony. Sitting, praying, reading, meditating, crying, praising, singing, and yes, even dancing. This has been my place. Where I have gone for the last two years to read His word and spend time in His presence.

I arrived in China broken. My heart had been broken and quite honestly, I was not in a good place. Looking back, I'm not even sure how I made it to China. I did not have the emotional energy to pour into raising support for an indefinite amount of time or the motivation to continue pressing on. But that is the amazing part of our faith journey, God never gives us more than we can handle. Yes, it may be more than we as human beings can handle but never more than He can handle. It is by God's grace, that I even made it to China. Because it is definitely not something that I did by my own power.

As I embark on a new journey in just a few short weeks, I can't help but sit here with my mug of coffee in hand, and reflect. Reflect back on this journey the Lord has taken me on the last two years. It was painful and heartbreaking and there were many tears involved. But that is how He brought me to the place I am today. And to the person I am today. We journeyed together through the mess of my life, and through those broken places He brought healing. He brought healing on this balcony where I would spend hour upon hour with Him. He brought me healing through the love I poured onto my precious children. And He brought healing to me in this country which I have called home for the last 27 months.

Many people have asked me why I'm leaving China. And honestly, there are many reasons. The main and most important reason is that I feel as though my time is done here for this season. Forever? Maybe or maybe not. At this point I have no idea, but I know for this season, He is calling me back to the US. Another reason is that I truly believe that God called me to this place to heal my heart. To take the broken pieces of my heart and to put it back together.

Am I healed? From that specific situation, I would say yes. There are still days when memories come up and the pain that is attached to those memories surface. But then I remember all that He has done in my heart and in my life here. And I can't help but be thankful. And smile. And smiling, is something that in May 2011, I didn't think I would ever do again. At least not from my heart.

China has been a place of healing. A place of taking my mess of a life and putting it back together. That doesn't mean life won't be hard. It doesn't mean that there won't be more struggles and pain and heartaches to journey through. But I know He goes before me and I know that He leads me through the waters and is always there to catch me when I fall.

"When you pass through the waters,

I will be with you;

and when you pass through the rivers,

they will not sweep over you.

When you walk through the fire,

you will not be burned;

the flames will not set you ablaze.

For I am the Lord your God,

the Holy One of Israel,

your Savior."

Isaiah 43:1-3

I will always look back on this season of my life in China, and see a place of healing. 

How Could I Not?

Little Peanut is home and doing well all things considered. After spending most of his short life in a hospital bed, we are trying to give him all the cuddles and love he missed while he was a lone in ICU.

I'm usually "on the go" whenever I'm in the foster home. Whether it's preparing for preschool, teaching preschool, working on developmental assessments, uploading pictures to out Facebook page, writing blog posts or who knows what else, I'm always doing something. Often I get so caught up in "doing something" that I forget to just stop and love on these precious children that are placed in my path. The other morning, I felt this urge to just cuddle with Peanut. And so I did just that. Gently lifted him out of his crib, I rocked him in my arms for about 30 minutes. I just marveled at how tiny his little fingers and how bright his eyes were. As I sat there, singing and praying over him, a thought hit me:

How could I not believe that God works miracles today when I am literally holding a miracle in my arms?

Hmmm, that is very true. I have friends and family going through difficult things. Things I pray about but honestly don't see or know how it will all be worked out. How God will work and move. But after holding this little one, those doubts began to fall away. After all, if the God of the universe decided to heal this precious little orphan boy, can't He do all things? He can indeed.

I am in the process of figuring out travel details for my trip back to the US over the holidays. Flights have been changed and in order to contact who I need it, it's either very late at night for me or very early. All that on top of a sketchy internet connection makes it beyond frustrating. However, I am trying to keep all of this in perspective and that God can indeed work a miracle... even a travel miracle. And I am praying for just that.

Today is the Day

I have really let the ball drop on blogging this past week. Oh well... I guess I need a little break. 

Fall is upon us! Back home in western NY, you all are gearing up for another school year. Fall clothes are out, nights are becoming crisp and cool, leaves are changing color, football season is underway and pumpkin spice latte's are in Starbucks. However, here in southern China, I don't notice much of a difference. Temperatures are still in the 90's and leaves don't change here. It's green all year long. 

We run our preschool program all summer long, therefore it's not the beginning of a new school year for us. However, we DO have a new student. Miracle will be joining our preschool class for the first time today. This little boy has wanted to attend class for months. Each morning when I take the other children into the classroom, he will sit by the door and cry and cry. I tried having him come for a little bit a few months ago but this little one is a ball full of energy. Energy is good, but he was a handful in preschool. So, I decided to wait on having him attend every day.

Until today. He will be leaving us to join his forever family in the states sometime in the next few months and in order to best prepare him, we have been working a lot on his English. He and I meet twice a week one-on-one which does help, but I felt it was time for him to be in class 5 days a week to hopefully speed up his English progress.

We will see how he does. Won't you all say a prayer for me? I love him dearly, but he can be a bit challenging to handle and control sometimes. Pray for patience, understanding, and of course, love.

Happy September and new start for the school year for you all!

Oh, What Kids Do!

Oh, the things that kids say and the things that they do! Something I need to get better at, is blogging about some of the happenings at the foster home and the adorable (and not so adorable) things my kiddos do. I have been recently doing one-on-ones with Miracle and don't get me wrong, I love him to pieces, but he definitely tests my patience at times! He knows how to push my buttons and he does! But he is so darn adorable, you can't get upset with him. He is always making me laugh over one thing or another.

So today..... we had our "class." First of all, he gets distracted VERY easily. And he LOVES balls. Baseballs, basketballs, kickballs, etc. If it rolls, he calls it a ball. In fact, while working on his vocabulary cards today, he insisted on calling a doughnut a "ball." I kept saying, "no, doughnut." He would look at me and then in his sweet, innocent voice, exclaim "ball!" This probably went on 4 or 5 times before he believed me that it really IS called a doughnut. We then proceeded to work on our "ABC's." We (I sang while he stared at me) sang the alphabet a few times and then I said the letters and had him repeat. Of course if he doesn't want too, he shakes his head firmly. Well we got all the way to letter "E" and what does he do? Instead of saying "E," he breaks into "Old McDonald had a far...e-i-e-i-o!!!" Yes, the pig noises were included in his little solo. I just shook my head and smiled. Tried to get him to say "E" again and once again, he breaks into song. *Sigh* Of course as he was singing and looking around, he notices a Dora sticker nearby and then yells "Dora!" proceeded by "D-D-D-D-Dora!" (in singing form). And if that wasn't enough, after looking at the sticker, noticed the balls on the wall (we had been working on circles in preschool) and yells "ball!!" Oh my.... Miracle, you sure are cute but you drive me bananas some days!

Of course this is the same child that if he finds class time boring or doesn't want to do something, he closes his eyes and pretends to "sleep." *Sigh* As frustrated as I get, I can't help but smile. He really is a hoot and I am going to miss him and all his craziness when he leaves us to join his forever family.

Oh the joys of working with kids.

Wordless Wednesday: Young Love

I know, I know, this is supposed to be "Wordless Wednesday," but I need to apologize for the blurry shot. HOWEVER, it was too cute NOT to share and of course they wouldn't do it again for me to get a clearer shot.

Sunday Snapshot

On the move. 

That is the best way to describe my kiddos around here!

Take Sweetheart for example. 

Ever since she started crawling she is a "girl on the go!"

 Thankfully she still likes to cuddle with this mama!

 And then there is Miracle.

He began taking steps in the last two weeks and will be walking all around (and getting into everything!) before I know it!

 He is still perfectly content playing by himself (at least for now!).

 Gem and Little Man are becoming good friends. 

This is their favorite toys and would most likely rock on it for hours if we would let them (and we would except that they need to eat, go outside, go to preschool, take a bath, etc.). 

The Quilt

One of the blessings about the work that we do is being able to see first hand how God provides.

And not only how He provides our needs but our wants as well.

It is so cool to see donation after donation come in from people all over the world who love our kids.

A few weeks ago, we received this gorgeous quilt from someone in the states. 

Gem decided right away that it was hers and proceeded to plop herself down and try it out!

 Miracle also decided he wanted a turn but Gem quickly put a stop to that!

 "This really IS soft, I could lay here for hours..."

This quilt can now be found in Gem's crib.... guess we know who won that argument!

Laughter

Precious arrived just a few short weeks ago.

He has gone not only to smiling.

But to laughing. 

And let me tell you, his laughter is contagious! 

This my friends, is a miracle.

Right before my eyes.

Seeing this little boy in an orphanage last June and again in January and how sad he was.

It's truly a miracle where he is today.

Glory be to God alone.

The Best Job

You can't tell me that I don't have the best job in the world when I get to love on Pumpkin each day...

... and kiss Sweetheart....

... and cuddle with Miracle.

Not to brag, but yes, my job is pretty great.

Just a reminder we DO take visitors so come on over, we'd love to have you!

Wordless Wednesday