This recent "stay in China" has been a very interesting one. It has been super hard yet super good. Funny how that is usually the case isn't it? If you have been reading my blog these last few months, you'll know that July and August were very hard months for me. Not sure exactly why except that I hated China and I was extremely homesick. I was to the point of wanting to call it quits, pack up, and head home. But I am stubborn (haven't decided if that's a good or a bad quality yet!) and I made a commitment. Even though I could leave early, I knew deep down that I would "stick it out."
One thing I realized during my pity party this summer, was that here I was complaining and crying all the time yet I was not bringing it to God. I was not laying my burdens and frustrations at His feet. Instead, I was trying to carry it all on my own. The amazing thing about God is that He WANTS to carry our burdens for us. We were never meant to carry the load on our own, no matter how many times we try too.
Thankfully towards the end of August, I had a wake-up call. I could continue trying to do this all on my own (which wasn't working out too well) OR I could allow the One who knows all things to carry the load for me.
Since that time when I surrendered it all to Him (yet again), we have had the most amazing journey together. I may be a slow learner, but I am learning. I am learning that before I fall apart, it's best to bring it Him and fall apart at His feet knowing that He will show me the way. He is teaching me more and more about myself and who He created me to be. Yes, it gets lonely over here, but I would not trade it for a minute. The things I have learned through this period of isolation and loneliness are priceless.
Five weeks. That's all I have left before a visit home with my family for the holidays and then it's back to China for the final stretch. I am beyond blessed at this amazing journey the Lord has me on. It may be painful at times but it is so very, very good.