Friday, December 30, 2011

Heart of the Father

I truly believe that when we cry, God is crying with us. When we hurt, He hurts. When our hearts are broken, His heart is broken. God is with us through every season of life. Through each disappointment and through our tears. He hears our cries and He cares. Even though He may feel far away.

If there is one thing I have learned over the last 8 months, it’s how dearly loved I am by my Heavenly Father. He loves me so much. But I have often become mad at God and angry. Angry because I have to go through this pain that I still feel. Pain that God could have prevented. But He chose not too. Why didn’t He? At this time, I have absolutely no idea. I hope that someday it will make a little more sense, but right now I’m in the dark. And sometimes God allows things to happen so that we learn to depend fully on Him. This is the first time in my life that I have done that. I have been so weak and so broken, that God was my only strength. I had no strength on my own, but it was by Him that I am where I am today. That I can laugh and find joy in life again. That I am super excited for what He is doing in my life and what He has in store for 2012. Already, He has done things in my life, far greater than I ever could have put together on my own. And He is a healer. I feel like that has got to be one of God’s favorite jobs. No, He doesn’t like to see us in pain, but sometimes it is necessary for us to truly become the person He wants us to be. But then He must take such joy when healing begins to take place. Even though it may take months or even years, He will heal. And I know that God will heal me. It will take time, but I know that someday I will look back on this season of life and see how apparent He was in my life. How He never left me. That He is sovereign and He is Lord. And that He has such GOOD plans for my life and for my future. Yeah, it’s hard to see when my heart is still broken and I’m still so sad. But He has a a plan and a purpose for what I’ve gone through. He loves His children far more than we could ever comprehend.

These are a few quotes by the book “Plan B” that a good friend of mine sent to me this summer:

"He knows what you're going through. He is right beside you, sharing your pain, even though he may not take it away. And he knows what he's doing with your life, even if you don't." "And yes, even when you're going though all that, God is still with you. But don't think that means it takes away your pain, anger, disappointment, and loss in that moment." "And while he's never promised to take the pain away, he has promised to be right there with us in the midst of it. He grieves with us. He's sad with us. He cries with us. He knows."

"I think it's a difficult truth to grasp, but God loves you enough to strip you of anything that keeps you from him. And often these things that separate you are not bad in and of themselves. Often, in fact, they're good things..missions, relationships, jobs. But if for some reason they are keeping us from knowing God as we should, he may take them out of out lives."

"I've discovered that sometimes God wants us to live inside the questions. Sometimes he wants us to linger in the waiting, hoping, praying. In fact, sometimes it's right in the middle of our crisis, in the middle of our Plan B struggles that God speaks most clearly."

imagesCAAGB2B4_thumb2Anneli

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