Anxiety

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”

John 14:27  

I love when God gives me reminders when I begin to “forget” His promises. Fear is something that can overtake us and our lives. And so can anxiety. However God continues to remind us over and over again in His Word of how we can trust in Him and rely on Him when times are tough. How He WILL see us through and WILL provide for all our needs.

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me.”

John 14:1   

Change can be exciting but it can also be hard. Even if it is change for the better and change for a positive! I’m sure many of you have heard by now, but I have finally landed a job. I will be a case manager at an agency in my area who works with people with mental disabilities. No, not my dream job or really my passion but it is a job and I know that God had it handpicked for me. I have been searching for a job for about 5 months now. Really didn’t think it would be “that hard” to find one. Boy, was I wrong! After several interview last fall that resulted in my not getting the job and many unknown about what He was doing in my life, I have finally gotten one. I told God after my 4th rejection that I was “done looking for social work jobs.” Which I was. Well apparently He had other plans. Because rather than me applying for this job, they contacted me. I never looked for it. I never applied to it. They wanted me and asked me if I would be interested. I have very mixed feelings about it. I am SO excited but also a little hesitant. Is this really where God wants me? Is this really what He wants me doing right now? He has put missions on my heart so strongly in the last 2 years, so is this really what He wants me doing right now? These questions go over and over again in my mind. Am I capable? Will I blow it? So much responsibility! But without a doubt, I know this is where He wants me. For how long? Who knows. And He is giving me peace. I start on Monday and today is Saturday. I really haven’t thought too much about it until today and then I started getting nervous and doubting myself and my abilities. But once again, when I opened up to John this evening, God reminded me of His promises and His love for me. Yes this is new and different but He is there and He will guide me.

My other anxiety is over what about missions? Ever since spending 4 months of my life in China, God has changed my heart so drastically. I have a desire to go overseas. To love the fatherless and the orphaned. To be the hands and feet of Christ. So is it selfish of me to work here and make money for a little bit? Most people tell me no, but it’s still tough. After seeing how most of the world lives, I can’t just do the “normal American thing” for very long. My heart aches for the lost and the lonely and the orphaned. But I’m also not sure where God wants me yet. For right now it’s here. I’m continuing to seek Him and let Him lead me. Wherever He has me, I know I can be His hands and feet. Maybe it’s not overseas right now, but where I’m at is another mission field. I can be the light of Christ to my coworkers and my clients. I do know that apart from Him, I can do nothing.

“Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.”

John 15:4   

I must remain in Him and in His Word. He will lead and guide me in the way I should go.

Anneli