"God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
though it's waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.
There is a river whose streams make glad the city of David,
the holy place where the Most High dwells.
God is within her, she will not fall;
God will help her at break of day.
Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
He lifts His voice, the earth melts.
The Lord Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Come and see what the Lord has done,
the desolations He has brought on the earth.
He makes wars cease
to the end of the earth.
He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
He burns the shields with fire.
"Be still and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth."
The Lord Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress."
How do you prepare your heart for a big change? How do you find the words to say, knowing that in just a few short moments, the little one who you have loved and cherished and secretly wished would be yours one day, would be leaving you? What do you even pray when this precious gift from God lay sleeping in your arms on the way to meet her forever family? Knowing that her life is going to drastically change in just a few short moments, how do you even prepare her for all that lay ahead? How do you break the tie that bonds her and you so strongly together since the day she was placed in your arms over two years ago and find happiness and joy in all that the future holds?
I remember witnessing each milestone she reached and rejoicing with her. When she learned to roll over, sit on her own, take her first steps, and run. I was there. When she was going through surgery, I was pacing in the waiting room like an anxious mama waiting to hear the news, any news, and praying her through. When her adoption paperwork was being completed and it was out of our hands, I was there, praying for her file to be placed into the right hands at the right time. I have prayed for this family for so long, it’s hard to believe the time is here. It has happened.
My heart is filled with joy for Sweetheart and her new family. She has an amazing family. A family who has loved and prayed for her for so long. I couldn't have hand picked a better family even if I had tried. God truly writes the best stories and His ways are best. But even though this time is filled with joy and happiness, my heart breaks. I sit here on my balcony, sipping my coffee and listening to the birds and I keep telling myself I need to head over to the foster and begin my day. But it is really, really hard. How can I walk into the foster home knowing that she will not be there to greet me? Running up to me with her arms outstretched and that adorable dimpled smile and yelling “On-a-knee!!!!” at the top of her lungs? How can I even walk into her room and see her bed stripped of her sheets and toys and waiting for another child to fill it's place?
"God sets the lonely in families."