Thursday, June 21, 2012

Already Won

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Rejection, abandonment, and betrayal.

I debated writing this post. But I decided if I can be an encouragement to at least one person, then what I am going through is worth it.

These are three words that no one wants to ever go through. However they are the ones that have been repeated over and over again in my mind. Through a series of circumstances recently, I have experienced each of these emotions. And believe me, it’s not pleasant.

As I have been going through another valley in life, I stand in awe of the God I serve. The one who see’s each tear. Each sob. Every pain. And He cares. He loves. And most importantly,

He understands.

No one knows about betrayal or rejection more than Jesus. This is something that I never really thought about until God placed it very clearly on my heart a few days ago. Jesus very friends, two of His own disciples, betrayed Him. First Judas, then Peter. I’m sure Judas’ betrayal was hard to grasp, but I have to believe that Peter’s was the most difficult of all. I believe Peter and Jesus had a very special friendship. They held a special bond, however Peter denied Jesus. Not once or twice… but three times.

Over the last few days I have wanted to escape the pain and heartache. But I know that often in order for God to take us to that next step in our faith, we have to endure the valley’s with the Lord’s help.

“Now my soul is troubled, and what shall I say? Father, save me from this hour? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour. Father, glorify your name! Then a voice came from Heaven, I have glorified it, and will glorify it again.”

John 12:27-28

Jesus didn’t want to die. Didn’t want to endure the pain, yet He knew that He had too. That’s why He had come to this earth in the first place.

That is my prayer. That His name will be glorified through this pain and heartache I am experiencing. That people will look at me and see Christ living in me. That they can tell by my actions, words, and the love in my eyes that it is Christ and Christ alone.

That His glory alone will be revealed.

I have also received a small glimpse of what each of the eight precious children I work with experience. Abandonment, rejection, and betrayal. Each of them has been abandoned, rejected and betrayed. For the first time in my life, I feel like I have a little more understanding and compassion.

Satan doesn’t want me here. That much I know. And he is coming at me like he never has before. Trying to discourage me and send me home (which quite honestly I have wanted to do these last few days). However, my work here is not finished yet. And Satan will not win this battle. God has already won.

“We raise a white flag,

we surrender

all to you, all for you!

We raise our white flag, the war is over

love has come, your love has won!”

“White Flag” by Chris Tomlin & Passion Worship Band

What Satan intended for evil, God will use for good.

I will be taking a few days off from blogging. I’m really in need of disconnecting, praying, and fasting.



  1. Praying for you Anneli....take as much time as you need! And may His peace and joy flood you right now!!!! Praying through the trials, that you will experience His presence more than ever.


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