Monday, October 17, 2011

Answered Prayer



God answers prayers. He really does. And He hears each and every cry, catches each tear that falls and hears each question we ask. And how we plead for Him to be near. God showed me such evidence of His power, strength, and provision yesterday.

Yesterday was a tough day. Probably the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my entire life. I had to walk away from the man I love with all my heart without looking back. I woke up yesterday morning knowing what was on the horizon for that day. And dreading it. I stood on the porch before leaving for Church just praying and pouring my heart out to God. I told Him “I can’t do this God. I can’t say goodbye to him and walk away.” And you know what God told me? Not loud. But in the still, small voice that He usually speaks to me with. He said, “Anneli, you don’t have too. I will carry you through today.” And I have never felt God so near. Never felt His presence so close. Never felt this layer of peace surround me like it did all day yesterday. When I would start to “go down that path” and start to become anxious and panic, God would pour out more of His peace upon me. I never would have gotten through it. I’m still amazed at how I did it. How I walked away. Was it hard? It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do but God gave me the strength. It was definitely not my own. And He gave me hope. That there is hope in Him. That He has such great plans for my life. Plans that I can’t even begin to imagine or comprehend. And that He knows what He’s doing.

The other prayer He answered was not only getting me through yesterday, but giving me closure. That’s what I have been praying for the last 5 months. Jeff and I were able to talk and I finally feel at peace. But I also learned that with peace and with closure doesn’t mean that you are still happy how things turned out. It does mean that a weight has been lifted off your heart though and that God is healing. And that we parted ways on a good note. God is good. I’m just sad.

And what does the future hold? I have absolutely no clue. But what I do know is that God is a God of miracles. And I know He is going to heal my heart. Restore me and make me whole once again. Right now I’m just sad. But also wait in expectation of all God is going to do. And what amazing ways He is going to work. And I’m so ready for the next chapter in my life. Sad to finish this one, but you know what? Many times people come back into your life in later chapters. You never know.

“We wait in hope for the Lord; He is our help and our shield. In Him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in His holy name.”

Psalm 33:20-21



  1. And I thought your sadness had something to do with Carissa's loss. *Sigh* I wish there were some magic words I could share to make everything "all better" for you, but I can reassure you that God DOES reward obedience and I strongly believe that in the long run you'll be immeasurably blessed by doing this VERY hard thing. But in the short run, I'll be praying for you to continue to feel God's "nearness" through the grieving process.

  2. Anneli,
    i had a feeling that you were having a hard time about saying 'goodbye'. i know that the Lord has you in the palm of His hand, and He will get you through. So sorry that you are sad... it is tough to go through. Thing is the only way through it is to just do it. That is what i tell my girls all the time.
    Praying for you and sending hugs your way too. Come see us when you can.
    Love you!


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